the METAL DETECTOR
with Al Wreckless
As every metal fan knows, metal is not just a musical style; it’s a way of life. And it takes commitment. To truly be metal, at least 83% of your world must be classified as metal. Unfortunately, in the modern climate of the world, lines between reality and fiction are blurred more than ever. It’s getting harder and harder to determine what is truly metal. That’s why you need THE METAL DETECTOR.
Today, we take a look at former Vice President Dick Cheney. At first glance, he doesn’t seem very metal. He looks like my grandpa. Actually, he looks like Col Klink’s grandpa. But let’s take a closer look at this complicated imp, shall we? He shot a guy in the face. The members of Mayhem would approve. He’s big on starting wars for self-serving reasons. The members of Bolt Thrower would approve. He’s in favor of torture. The members of Slayer would approve. He’s intolerant of other religions/beliefs/opinions,etc. Varg Vikernes would approve (though he’d support a different religion).
Now that Dick Cheney is now longer in power, we can sit back and admit that he truly is a badass. Seriously, he shot a guy in the face and the guy was so scared, he actually apologized to Cheney. That’s pretty metal. On the other hand, he did pretty much fuck our country over. On a scale of one to ten Manowars, Cheney rates an 8.2.
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